Refreshed and Ready to Go

So, my Power of Moms Workshop went so well this weekend. I was really happy with it. I thought my fellow friends and presenters did an amazing job and I was able to meet some amazing women, who were bright and funny, and deep down, some really great moms. A few things I came away with were that I really am my family's greatest asset, so it is ok to take care of myself without feeling guilty about it. I need to stop comparing against the "other mothers" out there and realize we are all on our own journeys to become better versions of ourselves, each at their own pace. That is a beautiful thing! I also made a commitment to stop saying "I'm sorry" for my not being perfect. You know what I mean. The "I'm sorry my house is a mess," "I'm sorry I'm dressed like this," "I'm sorry, my kids look like rugrats today," "I'm sorry it's not perfect." Nope, you won't here that out of my mouth anymore (crossing my fingers). I'm giving it up. The perfectionism I mean. I'll still try my very best, but I don't have to apologize to anyone for not being perfect. And one more thing, I learned is that if we set tiny achievable goals each week, then we are bound to grow into remarkable women.

So to prove that this stuff works, here are a few examples were I've already started to implement this stuff into my life.

This morning, I exercised while my preschoolers played and my baby sat in the floor and watched me dance around the room to my Zumba video while the sun was shining through the window. That felt good.

I sat down and set some small goals for this week in the Bloom game that's offered on the POM website.

Yesterday in church as I looked around the congregation, I thought about all those moms sitting in the different pews and for once wasn't sizing myself up against them. I sat and looked at each one as an individual and tried to notice all the good things they do. It felt good and I loved them.

And I'm going to multi-task and listen to some inspirational talks today while I'm cleaning my kitchen.

So how about that! You see, there are some powerful benefits to these workshops. If you are interested in hosting a workshop in your area, let me know and maybe we can work something out. It really is an amazing thing.

Love More

I love this child with all my heart. Everyday she walks out that door to go to school, I feel like she's walking away with my heart. Her struggles feel like mine. And I ache to help her be the kind of woman I know she has the potential of becoming. She has so many strengths. So many talents. But right now we are struggling tremendously. Our personalities are very similar, and then again, very different. She is very independent and strong willed. If she detects you pushing her in the slightest, she will push back with all her might and dig her heels in. Since I'm the one home all the time, she is in constant conflict with me over getting ready for school, doing her homework, practicing the piano, being nice to her siblings, and so on and so forth. The more I tell her to hurry along, the slower she gets, and the meaner her looks get as she walks by me. I feel like I've tried so very hard to be nice. I've read countless material about how to motivate her. I've made charts and come up with rewards that SHE picked and yet we are still back to ground zero. So last week, I resorted to prayer. I prayed like crazy, even in the shower that she would have the desire to be a good kid. I even talked to the teacher about ways to help her. But in the end, the only thing I keep going back to is to LOVE MORE!

I'm going to love that child into obedience. I'm going to love her regardless of how she performs at school. I'm going to leave nice notes in her lunch box. I'm going to remind her how much I love her as she jumps out of the car to go to school. I'm going to make her bed while she's at school to serve her. I'm going to make her favorite dinners. I'm going to love that child until she comes around. I can't change her, or make her like me, but I can soften her heart. I can show her that regardless of what she does, I'm going to love her because of who she is and what she can become.

I'm presenting a POWER OF MOMS workshop on Taking Care of the "ME" Inside the Mom!

Ready to become the mom you really want to be?

Come enjoy laughter, learning and light refreshments at an unforgettable gathering that just might change your life in some very important ways.

What:

A fabulous, interactive Power of Moms workshop that will help you learn how to effectively develop and take care of that little “me” inside the mom. Just like everyone else in the family, moms need nurturing and support as they strive to meet their personal goals and become all that they’re meant to be. At this workshop, we’ll help you assess how you’re doing mentally, emotionally, physically, socially and spiritually, help you learn to say “yes” and “no” to the right things, and help you more fully accept yourself as you celebrate your own unique talents and abilities.

Next Saturday, March 10th, from 9:00-12:00 at Meradith Christensen's home!

Go here to register. And remember that you get $20 worth of POM online resourses!

I'm OBSESSED!!!

So I'm obsessed with ZUMBA! Seriously. I love those workouts more than anything else in my life right now. And boy do I need them. I don't feel like I'm working out. I feel like I'm dancing, and after my lesson in church last week about what really brings us joy, well, this is it. I just got the latest DVD set, and I've been dancing away in my basement every night since. It makes me feel oh so good. And one of the perks is my husband, my sweet amor, will do them with me. We dance and flirt and rekindle our romance while we shake our tail feathers, just like we did when we first met. It's awesome! I know I probably look like a fool on the outside, but on the inside I feel like this chica! And maybe if I keep doing it, my body will magically look like that. Tummy tuck and all. So if you're up for a party, here's your invite. Give me a ring and come join my party!

Snapshot of our lives

Inspired by another bloggers post, I would like to do a "snapshot" of the life of the Ruizes right now. You know, what it's like in our house right now, at this moment in our lives, to look back and remember in years to come.

There is always, always, a pile of dishes in the sink that needs washing in the morning. With six of us in the house, that sink seems to fill as fast as I can wash and empty it. We still don't have a dishwasher, so I spend a lot of time at the sink. The girls rotate by month who's job it is to help put them away.

Our kitchen table is always covered with papers. That table is the hub of the house. We eat, do homework, do art, play games, and everything else under the sun there. It's a constant struggle to keep it cleared. And it's beat to heck. We are down to three matching chairs, and the other three are all random chairs from the house. I'm guilty as the rest. We did a modge podge art project and I smeared it all over the table not knowing it wouldn't come off. We are just waiting for the kids to grow up a bit before replacing it. It's been well loved and used.

I watch a little girl every morning and then feed her lunch and take her to kindergarten. I visit teach her mom, and it's my way of helping someone out. Plus Sophia likes having someone around to play with.

Sophia is really starting to be able to read, thanks to preschool. She loves to have her back scratched and always asks for it. She has a cute little short haircut, but it is always sticking up everywhere and she hates when it is "all staggity (static)." She says the best prayers and is really thoughtful. She prays to be more modesty, honesty, more obedient to her parents, to be kind to her sisters, and all sorts of other lovely things. I've thought about sneaking a tape recorder in one night, just so I capture them. Is that appropriate? She is also racing that scooter from her birthday all over the house. She will do circles around the kitchen table and I just know she's going to catch my toes one day.

Julianne loves her hair. She likes to have curlies (when I use the curling iron to curl the ends). She likes playing beauty shop and fixes all of the dolls' hair. She can't handle attention and will pull away if you try to hug her or if you smile at her she will scowl at you. She is still super loud and I'm always trying to tell her to use a quieter voice, especially when Max is asleep. She's a major movie addict. But despite being a typical 3 year old, she is also very generous and is always willing to share what she has with her sisters. She's not greedy, like the other two tend to be. She is also really good at playing by herself if she has to. She's got a pretty good imagination. She loves to dress up in dance clothes and is really wanting to go to dance class. She does about four outfit changes a day.

Gabriela is now getting rides to school in the morning. Grandpa came to her defense and didn't like seeing her out walking in the morning. She is still struggling with having a bad attitude about homework and piano. Although I think piano is getting better. She gets super upset when she gets caught doing something naughty, like being dishonest, and will run to her room screaming that she'll never be a good girl. So needless to say, I give a lot of pep talks around here. She's loving the school play. She really likes to feel special and doesn't want to be lumped into a group. She does a lot better when she's treated like a big girl.

Max, well, he can be a pill. But he's cutting his two bottom teeth and is constantly crying if you're not holding him. He got his first real haircut last week and he's super cute, but I about died because once she started with the clippers on the sides, I thought he was going to be bald. Sophia was crying because Max was screaming the whole time and she thought we were hurting him. She has a soft heart for her brother. He also loves to pull his socks off and will do anything to get them off. He still can't roll over and he's a bit of a prince. We are trying to be better about laying him on his belly to play.

We eat sandwiches just about everyday for lunch. And we are still drinking a lot of green smoothies.

We eat mostly organic food, or at least all natural. We only drink water, and occasionally milk.

Saturdays we usually pick up pizza from Papa Murphey's.

Miguel just got released from being Elder's Quorum President. It's a little bittersweet for him. But I think he's excited for his new calling, but I can't tell you yet, because he hasn't been sustained in church. But I think he'll do great at it.

Young Women's is great. I'm really getting to know the girls and I love the leaders I work with. It's a lot of work, but it's fun work.

Miguel is gone all the time with work. I do dinner most nights by myself, which is so hard, because that is Max's most fussiest time, and the kids are begging for food, and there is homework to be done and piano to be practiced, and baths that need to be taken, and I get really overwhelmed. But that is the life of a spouse of a real estate agent. I've tried to develop a thick skin.

I'm usually always home. The thought of getting out in the cold with the baby is not that appealing to me and I can't leave for more than two hours before I have to either pick somebody up or drop somebody off to preschool or school.

My allergies are out of control, but I've go the asthma controlled. I'm constantly fatigued, which makes me frustrated.

I'm super happy that I have great friends who help me when I'm in need, whether it be a listening ear, watching my kids so I can run errands, or inviting me to do things. I really appreciate them.

We still are doing a baby sitting swap on Friday nights with two other families. But I'm wondering if my girls are wearing out. Gabriela, I know, is over it and doesn't want to go play "with boys." So I don't know how much longer it will last.

My girls color all the time. We have coloring papers from one end of the house to the other. They draw on everything.

So there you have it. That's us in a nutshell. If I think of more, I'm sure I'll add it in later.

Tennis Shoe Afterthoughts

So I've had a little time to think since writing this post yesterday and I've discussed it with a several people since then as well, most coming from my new Learning Circle. We talked about acceptance last night. Acceptance with ourselves, with motherhood, of others. It was great, and I feel like I bore my whole soul on a first date. Not sure how I feel about that in retrospect, but let's just "accept" that that's who I am. I'm a talker.

So here are my afterthoughts. I worry way to much about these kinds of things and what other people think. I think I'm highly aware of my flaws and imperfections right now in my life and I project those flaws onto other people. I assume everyone else in the world thinks the same thing about me as I do. I think everyone else is comparing me to all these cute single women on dates in line at Zupa's on Friday night. I think everyone looks at my not very tight abs and compares me to the other first time mom, whose belly just magically goes back after having that baby. It's silly really. I always get this way, at about this time, after having a baby. Last time it prompted me to do the Mrs. Utah pageant, to help myself gain some confidence, to squeeze out some me time, and to get myself back in order, and you know what...it worked. I just need to get my confidence back.

I'm not sure what I'll do next, but at least I can see this phase for what it is. Postpartum, baby slave, desperately needing some me time, mommy craziness. So don't worry folks, I'll snap out of it, and I've got some good goals to help get me there.

Tennis Shoes

These are my tennis shoes.

My very favorite shoes.

Miguel bought them for me for Christmas.

Worn 'em almost every day for the last year.

I LOVE THEM!


 But it's funny, you see. I do love them and I love wearing them. They help me be a good mom. When I put them on in the morning, I'm ready for anything. They help me walk over the playdough my kids have dropped on the floor or the food crumbs that haven't been swept yet. They help me run up and down the stairs with the loads of laundry, or out to the trash can to drop the cereal boxes in the recycle trashcan. They help me walk over ice in the driveway without slipping and breaking my neck. They help me walk all over the house with my baby without fear of rolling my ankle. They help me pick up my kids from preschool or go grocery shopping. They keep my knees from aching from walking on our tile floors. They help me as I wash a million dishes in the sink and stand to cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I can run and jump at a moments notice, like when I think Max is suddenly going to fall off the couch. I can suddenly join in on the impromtu dance party going on somewhere in the house. I really do love these shoes.

So why do I feel so ashamed to wear them? I'm embarrassed almost. Why can't I embrace the fact that I'm the mom who wears tennis shoes every day of her life. I feel the pressure from the world to be otherwise. And I hate it! I feel like the world pushes me to be something else. Like I need to have a closet full of boots, flats, heels, pumps, and a myriad of other things that I don't really feel like wearing. Why can't I just be proud of my tennis shoes? Those and my jeans. I don't have to worry about them. If Max barfs on them, I don't have a conniption fit. I don't have to send them out for dry cleaning. So why does it bug me when other people are dressed to the hilt, especially mothers? Especially ones with little children like me? Maybe it's a lack of maturity on my part. I don't really care if they wear it, but I care about how it makes me feel. Like I'm sub par or that I have to compete with that and I don't want to compete.

I just need to love my tennis shoe wearin' self. It's all about acceptance and I need to accept myself. Don't get me wrong, I love dressing up like the next girl, but I believe there is a time and a place for it. We had a discussion in Sunday school a few weeks back about how usually the demise of the Nephites was when "costly apparel" was introduced to the society. I know it drives me nuts and always has. That's why I like going to the temple, because all of that hoopla is cut out and you can see people for who they are and not for what they are wearing. I'm really opening up here, but I've felt like it been on my chest for a while. So while I'm still learning to embrace myself, you will still catch those tennis shoes on my feet, because that's who I am. (And maybe I'll just expand my collection beyond one pair, just to change it up a bit.)