Lost Person

I woke up Sunday morning and expected it to be like any other Sunday. I would slowly get my kids ready for church and try and make sure we were prepared to leave on time. I happened to have picked up my phone to flip through Facebook while the kids were still asleep. I happened to notice a message on my phone from a name I didn't know. I was a bit surprised and as soon as I opened up the message I knew something very big was about to unfold. I grabbed my husband and had him sit down with me before I read anything because I knew he was going to want to know and I wanted him to be there with me. My first clue was a photo of me as a small child and the first line indicated that I wouldn't know who the author of the message was. Her name was Randi, and I would never have guessed we would hit if off so well from the get go.

Randi is my cousin from my biological dad's side. I have no memory of this man because he has been absent from my life since I was 2 or 3 years old. Due to circumstances I don't care to share here, my mom left with me and we began a new life and she would later remarry. I have had no contact with any side of this family and figured that they never thought about me. From Randi's email, I found a very different story.

In that moment I found out that I was someone's "lost person." I have heard about these kind of stories my whole life and witnessed a reunion between my mom and her missing sister of over 50 years just 2 years ago. I never imagined that someone might be out there looking for me. It is mind blowing at times.

Randi related how I have grandparents who have always wanted to see me. She told of how loving and sweet they are and how 4 generations of my family know about me and long to see me! The outpouring of love and support over the last 48 hours from these people has melted my heart. (I can feel myself tearing up again). How can people who have never met me show that kind of love?

I tried calling my mom immediately to make sure she knew what was going on, because I owed that to her. My story is her story. After she was genuinely encouraging of me pursuing this, Randi and I began a messaging marathon. It's crazy how much I feel we are alike! She's exactly my age and has 4 kids (3 girls & 1 boy). It's CRAZY!!! It feels like I've known her all my life. She sounds like a sister to me, and yet my rational self starts to want to hold back. Am I falling to hard and too fast for these people? Can it be a good as it sounds? Part of me wants to run hop on a plane this minute, but I don't want to sound to eager.

I brought over a trusted friend last night to tell her what was going on and she said some really important things. She told me that I was going to find my place and that this was going to fill a side of me that I never knew was missing. I'm going to find my tribe! I look at these people and I feel an automatic connection with them. These people are my blood, and the best part is that they are good Christian people. People I would want to be with. I feel like the Lord has put these people in my life at this moment for a purpose. Perhaps I'm finally ready, or perhaps there is a greater purpose that I'm unaware of. I just feel grateful and particularly grateful for Randi for having the courage to reach out to me and take a risk.

I just pray that everything I've been told is true. I hope I find my place. I will have grandparents all my own and I hope and pray I will be everything they are hoping I am.