It's funny how much I'm trying to soak in this little baby boy. Perhaps it's because he may be my last. Maybe not. I haven't decided, but what if he is, and I didn't drink him in enough while he was little. I'm really trying to be present and take note. I want to remember his sweet face years from now. I want to remember how he just smiles and starts kicking when he finally sees me, or when I come in to get him up from his naps. Those are my favorite moments. And even when I have to get up in the night, I like to breathe him in. I love that baby smell . I like to rub his little head, and kiss him in that neck, no matter how much it smells like spit. I always go get one last look at him sleeping before slipping into my own bed at night. I really like this stage and hope it lasts a while.
But I also love my big girls. I love that they can play, and run around, and we can talk. I love watching them learn new things and to see them try things for the first time. Life is more fun, and it's like my sister in law recently said, you get to experience childhood all over again through their eyes.
Motherhood is a privilege. I'm privileged enough to get to share in the lives of my children each day. Some people would question why I have four children, thinking that it is far too many, but I can't imagine my life without them. Maybe we'll have another or maybe not, but now I'm just going to absorb the ones I'm lucky to have right now.
1 comment:
At my OB appointment this week my doctor asked if I would like a tubal-ligation if the need to have a C-section arose. I immediately answered "NO." He was like -why not? you have FOUR kids? and you're getting your boy?
I just don't know if we are done yet. And I kinda wish I didn't have to make that decision. How do people KNOW when they are done anyway?
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