I'm TIRED!
Really, really tired.
It's 10:00 and I've just put four children down to bed who I've been caring for since, oh, I can't even remember. I'm waking up at night still, to feed a baby. I think I had mastitis, called the ob for a perscription, and of course I'm allergic to it. I feel like I've rolled in a bed of poison ivy and if you touch my skin it feels like it will catch on fire and burst into flames. I'm sort of a hypocondriac and keep imagining what will happen to me if I ever get seriously ill or get cancer. They will have no way of treating me, because I'm allergic to everything under the sun. It kind of sucks to be honest. My husband works all the time, and I feel like I'm wearing down. Between elders quorum meetings, primary meetings, him working late and going on appointments, I rarely see the man. I'm tired of having breakfast, lunch, and dinner, by myself with the kids. I feel like I give and give and I'm not recieving very much. I told Miguel about it the other night and he said the three most important areas to worry and focus on are my spiritual and physical well being as well as my relationships with others. My response:
Well I'm pretty high and dry in all those areas.
I'm not writing this to gather sympathy. No it's more of a way to capture what it's like at this moment in my life raising four kids. As hard and refining as it is, I wouldn't trade it or give up my opportunity to be with them, but it is just hard. That's the reality of it. I wish I could sugar coat it and post some glorious pictures on here, but then that wouldn't be portraying the truth. Life is hard right now. Others have it harder. I'll have faith that it will get better. I'm looking forward to school starting next week so we can have some sort of schedule and maybe things will settle down a bit.
Now I'm off to bed.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I'm sorry life's beating you down and you're not getting enough sleep.
If it helps, I think you're doing a wonderful job! Your kids are lucky to have you, and even if your husband isn't home to see all the great things you are doing for that family, Heavenly Father knows.
I could have written this post, I'm not kidding! If it helps to know you're not alone with a newborn and three other needy ones. At least know that I understand and I'm going through it too. Hope the weekend brings some light!
except for the mastitis part and the alergic reaction. We're fighting battles over here too. (the kids just found dog poop under my computer desk... just great!! that about sums it up....)
(read the conference address entitled Hope. It helped me this week)
Well, I don't think you are whining. Lack of sleep is killer. . . Plus all of your other ailments!? In a few days you will feel better. Hang in there!!
Post a Comment