Tennis Shoes

These are my tennis shoes.

My very favorite shoes.

Miguel bought them for me for Christmas.

Worn 'em almost every day for the last year.

I LOVE THEM!


 But it's funny, you see. I do love them and I love wearing them. They help me be a good mom. When I put them on in the morning, I'm ready for anything. They help me walk over the playdough my kids have dropped on the floor or the food crumbs that haven't been swept yet. They help me run up and down the stairs with the loads of laundry, or out to the trash can to drop the cereal boxes in the recycle trashcan. They help me walk over ice in the driveway without slipping and breaking my neck. They help me walk all over the house with my baby without fear of rolling my ankle. They help me pick up my kids from preschool or go grocery shopping. They keep my knees from aching from walking on our tile floors. They help me as I wash a million dishes in the sink and stand to cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I can run and jump at a moments notice, like when I think Max is suddenly going to fall off the couch. I can suddenly join in on the impromtu dance party going on somewhere in the house. I really do love these shoes.

So why do I feel so ashamed to wear them? I'm embarrassed almost. Why can't I embrace the fact that I'm the mom who wears tennis shoes every day of her life. I feel the pressure from the world to be otherwise. And I hate it! I feel like the world pushes me to be something else. Like I need to have a closet full of boots, flats, heels, pumps, and a myriad of other things that I don't really feel like wearing. Why can't I just be proud of my tennis shoes? Those and my jeans. I don't have to worry about them. If Max barfs on them, I don't have a conniption fit. I don't have to send them out for dry cleaning. So why does it bug me when other people are dressed to the hilt, especially mothers? Especially ones with little children like me? Maybe it's a lack of maturity on my part. I don't really care if they wear it, but I care about how it makes me feel. Like I'm sub par or that I have to compete with that and I don't want to compete.

I just need to love my tennis shoe wearin' self. It's all about acceptance and I need to accept myself. Don't get me wrong, I love dressing up like the next girl, but I believe there is a time and a place for it. We had a discussion in Sunday school a few weeks back about how usually the demise of the Nephites was when "costly apparel" was introduced to the society. I know it drives me nuts and always has. That's why I like going to the temple, because all of that hoopla is cut out and you can see people for who they are and not for what they are wearing. I'm really opening up here, but I've felt like it been on my chest for a while. So while I'm still learning to embrace myself, you will still catch those tennis shoes on my feet, because that's who I am. (And maybe I'll just expand my collection beyond one pair, just to change it up a bit.)