Traditions

I'm really big on traditions. I absolutely LOVE them. But I can't really say more, because I'm teaching a mothers group in a couple of weeks on traditions and don't want to spoil it for them. But that being said, here is one tradition that I'm trying to launch into the Ruiz family.

Christmas Tamales

This is what all of Mexico eats at Christmas time. It's like their Thanksgiving turkey. But our family has never had them on Christmas. We never have them now, or at least not handmade within the family.  Miguel's mom is the only one left who knows how to do it. The story goes, that she only made them when her mother came up from Mexico and now that her mom has passed away, I'm afraid that tradition and knowlege has passed away along with her.

Everytime I mention it to his mother, she kind of hesitates, and his dad says it's too much work. But it's about being Mexican and passing along tradition and being with family. It's only once a year. And if this did become a tradition in our family it would bring all of us together for many generations I believe. I love that Miguel is Mexican. It could be my favorite thing. Just kidding. But seriously, it adds so much flavor to our family. I love to celebrate anything that is Mexican. I want my girls to know the ways of their culture and embrace it. It's so fun, and tamales is one of those things.

Anyhow...I found this video last night that captures perfectly what I had invisioned for OUR family. I only hope I can get Graciela to share her knowledge with the next generation, so that we can then share it with our children.
Afterall, they already have 9 granddaughters who could possibley make them someday.

I'm Grateful for...

...a kid whose is learning to write. This is one of my first official notes that Gabriela has written me. I would have scanned it, but she wrote in on top of one of Miguel's work papers. It reads:

"MOME I im So icsidid decs uf The dade"

which translated means

"Mommy, I'm so excited because of the baby"

she got her "b"s backwards.

I love that kid!

(There was also a nice picture drawn of our family and me looking huge with a big belly) This note really made my day.

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This post could be titled a lot of things. Something along the lines of "Lord, help us all!" or "if we survive" or maybe "Somedays I wish I could throw in the towel"

Those just about sum it up around here for me. I feel like I'm a terrible mother right now. I loose my voice from yelling at my kids most nights. There are days when I think, what was the Lord thinking sending me these great kids, and I have no idea what I'm doing. There are so many principles I want to teach them, but I don't have a clue as to how to do it.

Responsibility? Respect? Listening? Obedience?  I feel like I'm getting nowhere. I honestly don't know any good system to teach these things. I didn't grow up in a home with charts and stickers. I was taught by threatening, yelling, spanking and a good amount of fear. But then again, I hated that, and I hate every time I find myself doing those same things. I don't know what else to do. Being nice doesn't seem to work.

But then I realize too, I'm pregnant and my hormones are out of whack and I'm exhausted and nauseated (still) all day long. By 5:00 in the evening, I've exhausted my patience. Miguel is working late most nights, so there is no relief pitcher and my girls are forced to deal with me. I'm a WITCH. I'm not smiling. I feel bad, because although they are little terrors, they don't deserve someone with no patience at night. 

My house is a disaster. I have no energy to clean it. It puts me in a bad mood.

There are moments when I honestly think, "oh my gosh, what was I thinking adding another one to the mix. How on earth am I going to do this with four?"

For the first time in my life, or at least in a long while, I'm starting to see my limits. I have reached them and gone beyond them. I have overextended and am now desperately trying to retreat. I have to realize that I can't be room mom, and class art teacher, and volunteer for enrichment, and teach primary, and be a single parent most days, and run everyone to their activities, and clean the house, and be the chef (especially while I'm pregnant). I CAN'T DO IT!!!

And it's depressing me. I've got to get through these next five months some how. I've got to stay sane. I desperately wish my family was around to help me out. I don't know how women do it with eight kids. I don't know how women can be pregnant over a fifteen year span. This pregnancy seems so much worse than the others. Maybe I'm older? Maybe I'm busier? Maybe it's a boy? Who knows, but this may be the end folks. I know the Lord blesses us with forgetfulness on purpose, but it's going to take a while for me to forget this one.

I read something this week that gave me a little hope and direction. Elder Uchdorf's talk from conference talked about slowing down and only choosing the best things when we are hit with stress. Our natural tendency is to speed up, but it's often best to slow down and take it slow. That's what I'm aiming to do. Simplify my life. If I seem flaky or distant, just bare with me for a little while. I've gone into survival mode. I'll make it through, but only if I disappoint a few people and get out of a few commitments that I've made. (What was I smoking when I thought being room mom and committing to teaching art once a week was a good idea while I've got two preschoolers at home and pregnant?..................must be first time kindergartner inexperience)

Don't worry folks. We'll all be all right around here. It may not be pretty, but we'll make it.

Our Soggy Halloween

(As a disclaimer, these photos were taken with my video camera since I have no working camera at the moment. I figured it's better than nothing)

The girls have been waiting a long time for this night. They love dressing up, but then again, they get to dress up everyday. We have a whole bedroom dedicated to dress ups in our house. I think it was the chance to wear makeup that really excited them. Gabriela's turned out awesome. I pulled out my old makeup kit from my theatre class at BYU and went to work. She looked good!

So here is MULAN

 And here is a MERMAID

 Everyone just loved her hair.

 And here is SLEEPING BEAUTY

 I'm not sure what I was trying to pull off. It started out as a Rock Star but ended up as a cross between Frankenstein's wife and a Halloween mistress. You should have seen the attempt at a mohawk.

It flooded like nobody's buisness after about 20 minutes at the trunk o treat. Luckily the girls got plenty of candy and we felt good about getting out of the rain. No extra trick o treating for us. Julianne was one soggy looking princess after it was all over with. Bless her heart, I'm sure it didn't help the cold she had going on.

 Miguel got creative and went as a referee. I told him to stick yellow hankies in his pocket so he could throw a flag if needed. He decorated our trunk to go along with his costume. He's eating the food the ward provided. It was awesome. You drove in, rolled down your window, and handed you to-go boxes with your families food in it. Very clever.

 Once the rain started the girls decided to make another round with their umbrella in tow. Unfortunately, they left Julianne behind and when another dad brought her to us, she was soaked.

 Once we finished up, we went and visited the Hatches, a wonderful family in our ward. Sis. Hatch is Gabriela's teacher in Primary and my girls absolutely love her. She's kind of an adopted grandmother to them. She always invites us in to have donuts and witches brew. So, so, fun....and nice and dry too! I think it's so neat that my kids have a place like this to go on Halloween, because growing up, there was always a house we could stop at and the lady would invite her special children in to have cupcakes. When I'm a grandma, I'm going to do the same thing.