Do you ever feel you are running in a rat's exercise wheel? This is how I feel about housecleaning. It never ends. I really believe it is my stumbling block in life. I would be such a better mother and neighbor, be a better wife, more patient, more talented and who knows what else if housecleaning was out of the picture. I have made so many invitations to people about coming over for lunch and play dates and such, but I never end up calling and setting them up, because I'm too embarrassed by the condition of my house. I know women can be judgemental and I'm so afraid someone is going to think I'm a bad mother if my house isn't spic and span. So for those of you who are waiting for me to call, don't hold your breath. Actually if you tell me not to clean up and you are o.k. with a messy kitchen (the thorn in my side), then I'll have you over today. I actually enjoy and encourage people not to clean up before I come. It makes me feel a little more normal when I see a mom answer the door with her hair in a ponytail and in her pajama bottoms. I quietly feel at peace with myself. Thanks Amy for always loving me despite the mess. I'm not saying my house is a pigpen(?) or anything, it's just cluttered with the girls clothes, dress up clothes, and more clothes. There is usually dishes in the sink or on the stove (remember, I don't have a dish washer) and I do my best to keep the floor swept.
You see, I was raised in a home that had to be cleaned before we were allowed to go anywhere or do anything. I even had to put away my mother's clothes in her messy closet. So unfair. So now that same mentality still exists in my little brain. I can't do anything until my house is clean and that includes having anyone over. I punish myself in someways. The worst is that my mother and father in law drop in all the time unexpectedly and she is an obsessive compulsive cleaner. She spends her days cleaning out her cabinets and drawers, wiping baseboards and so on. I just want to die when they come in. They probably pity their poor son.
Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Seriously just tell me it's o.k. and that your house is messy from your munchkins too and we can be best friends.
Friday, October 10, 2008
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5 comments:
oh man, remember this...http://rajensens.blogspot.com/2008/02/i-was-thinking.html
well, now that is how it looks EVERY day. i am not exaggerating one bit. not dirty but just stuff--toys, books etc. im just too tired and do other things i guess. i hear ya. let it go...just let it go :)
we can definitely be friends, and belong to the same messy house group. Anyone who has ever had the privelage of being over at Linday's house, please know she is totally exagerating (or at least seeing it as worse than it is). Lindsay, you're the most normal, down to earth, great friend I've ever known. The other day I went over to a friends house who i believe is the cleanest person I know. Anyway, it looked just like mine (messy!) on a typical busy day and it made me happy. Maybe we're all alike her in the small children stage. They don't know how to clean up. So don't despair, and keep doing what you're doing and playing with the kids and getting out.
I'm constantly thinking about how I could do better in cleaning, but it never happens. I said this in Amber's blog, but I swear the only way things will get better, if I work harder, longer, faster, earlier, later, all day long. I think my mom was that way. I am not.
remember when we helped each other clean house? We cleaned each other fridges! (that was fun!)
Housework is just one thing--it's not everything. Blogging is another thing. Looking totally put together is another thing. Kids who are cute and well-behaved is another thing. As far as I'm concerned, you are three for three--and there are a lot of things I haven't even mentioned. Who cares about housework, right? Easy for me to say. . . I have a maid! (Try it. It's awesome.)
Trust me, I feel your pain. It feels so good to get the house all cleaned up, but the only way to keep it that way is to give away the kids. Hmmmm -- Tempting!
Don't worry about it so much; I'm sure your mother-in-law sees how well you're handling 3 little ones and understands that this is the stage of life for your house to be a bit messy. My dear friend grew up in a home with a quote on the wall that says, "My house is clean enough to be lived in and messy enough to be enjoyed" or something to that effect. Your kids will not remember how clean or messy your house is, but they will grow from the time you focus on them, not on what someone else thinks of your home.
Once your kids are in grade school, they'll be able to clean up after themselves and even help out with chores. My three oldest share the dish job most week nights and it is a huge help towards keeping the kitchen clean.
Amen sista- it does seem to be never ending. The clutter is always all over- that is just how it is with kids. Its frustrating though. If it makes you feel better- my hair is in a ponytail all the time!!!!
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